Seeing as how I was the only moviegoer on Planet Earth who didn’t fall under the spell of Casino Royale, I haven’t rushed to the theaters to see Quantum of Solace — even though the current Bond girl, a fox with the foxy name Olga Kurylenko, has pretty much guaranteed that Ukraine will be in my future travel plans.
I bring this up because the past events in India have confirmed for only the, oh, billionth time that Jews are being targeted everywhere, even in countries that are 0.00000000000001% Jewish, where the only Jew may be some agnostic Howard Zinn-reading college student backpacker who’s trying to “find himself” during an enlightenment quest before graduating. Given this reality, the question becomes: Who needs James Bond more, England or Israel?
The time for Spielbergian hand-wringing over whether revenge is the right course or not is over. Whenever there’s a threat or an attack against civilian Jews, I suggest the Israeli government start acting like Daniel Craig in the black-and-white bathroom scene in Royale. I expect to see suave Mossad agents comb the Middle East, Europe, and Asia, bed the local floozies, gather intelligence, and take out the Jew-hating targets. Then bed some more floozies.
Also, Jewish organizations like the one that got hit in India must be armed. Period, end of story. The first thing a visitor who walks into the lobby of one of them should see is a subscription to Guns & Ammo on the coffee table.
I hope someone out there heeds my advice. If so, let me know.
I’ll be in Ukraine.
Three-Legged Chair 